“Heal your broken heart”

When I first worked with the circle of trees in my woods, called the Harmony medicine wheel, I would buy Her gifts. This place is the seat of the Feminine on the property where two creek beds come together. I found this beautiful pink heart shaped bowl at TJ Max, and I knew immediately She would love it! So, I nestled it in her sweet spot and there it remained for about three years.

I gave my heart to Harmony
I gave my heart to Harmony

It’s made of glass, and a year ago I started noticing cracks, and since then it began to break into pieces. While sitting in the medicine wheel earlier this week, she gently said to me: “it is time to mend your broken heart.” So I dug up it’s shattered pieces.

I have felt this broken heart as an intense emotional pressure, right in the middle of my chest. It’s origins elude me, but I sense it is layered from past lives to this one. Often when I watch a movie that has sadness, loss, or harm between a child and parent, that wolf comes and sits right in the middle of my chest and grabs my throat. It happened watching Black Snake Moan with Samuel L. Jackson and Christina Ricci the other night. They are two beat up people who help each other heal through tough love and compassion.  A broken heart that never gets fixed will shatter into a multitude of pieces. It can still be fixed, but takes Will, and much more time and energy. Fortunately, I think I was in time with mine!

Mending a broken heart is not easy, nor does it come free. In fact, it is quite expensive. I costs the illusion that someone else “broke my heart.” Personally, it has always been expectations of another, or worse, the abandoning of myself to them, that has caused the heaviest of my heartbreak. It costs us our status as victim of yet another relationship that did not go the way we wanted it to. It also costs the addiction to endorphins: to being in love with that feeling of being in love. Healing a broken heart costs the infatuation with falling in love, and calls us instead to rise into love. Letting go of all these emotional structures is costly, but not nearly as costly as a heart that keeps breaking into smaller and smaller pieces. And what is gained from mending that broken heart is beyond measure.

So, I’m happy to say my heart is on the mend! And what that healed heart gives in return is an endless capacity to grow, and adapt, and love, and live a life that knows no bounds. A heart that has broken and healed has a tremendous gift of empathy for the pain of others. It has an ability to see beyond the moment. to the potential in all. Even with its scars, It holds water. Indeed an ocean will fit into a compassionately healed heart.

A mended heart...
My mended heart…

As I crawl into the proverbial bear cave at this winter solstice, healing my broken heart is my number one desire. I am grateful for the support of friends who come along just at the right moment radiating love from their hearts. And so, in the heart of my woods, a gift I bought Harmony, returns to the giver as a gift that keeps on giving. And I am open and receiving!

Harmony Medicine Whell
Harmony Medicine Wheel

Orbs orBees

I’ve been posting a lot of photos of orbs lately on Facebook. It all started on the full moon a few days ago, when I snapped this photo (I was facing away from the moon…):



I’ve seen a lot of orb photos…but i’ve never seen one this big. There are those who believe they are beings from another dimension, showing themselves in our time of need. There are others who have explained them as refraction of dust particles or other photographic anomalies based on technological imperfections. I have even seen them while focusing on dust particles on my glasses up close.

But here’s the thing that keeps it mysterious for me. My first digital camera, never showed a single one of these spots until one night I went for a walk, and asked if I could take some photographs of orbs.  Sure enough… my  photos had many of these round “worlds” in them. I even set up a rapid sequence of exposures that captured one moving through the frame as I laid on my bed.

And so, when I was out walking a few nights ago…I asked as I approached my “Lodge to the Ancestors” if the Spirits would mind if I took their picture…and shazam!…the grand-daddy orb guardian of the sacred space  showed himself. I also did the same thing at my bee hive: they have visitors too!

DSC00372In all honesty…I don’t really care if they are real or not…I get to decide what is real anyway… When things show up in my photos that aren’t there initially, after I ask if I can photograph them…then I feel a sentience at work. AND I also know that light shining through dust on my glasses look like these orbs too. That explanation does not minimize may amazement at what I am seeing and experience.

Behind every truth is often an equally valid and powerful opposite truth. And if those opposite truths help to keep me fascinated by life, than I’m all for both!



orb fiesta
Taken in California while playing with a dog.


Circles appear…

After our four day Solstice Ceremony, a mysterious circle appeared in the middle of the Harmony Medicine Wheel. We did a wonderful ceremony there on the day after the Solstice, but did not scrape or move this snow, or even walk in this area. It just melted this way, in a perfect circle. I had been feeling for some time that this Medicine Wheel wanted a small fire pit. Independently, Andy Claypool (of Elevate Mind Body Peace), one of the spiritual caretakers of the property, said that during that meditation, he also got the notion (received the message?) that the Medicine Wheel wanted a small fire pit.

ImageAnd so, the Hoop of Life appears in the center of the wheel, directing us where to put it. The stones are gathering themselves, with a little help from us, and soon, perhaps by the next full moon on Jan. 26, we will have a small fire there, to honor the Grandmother and Divine Feminine.

Sticks and stones

Medicine Wheel

I have seen you in my inner eye since when first I walked this land.

sacred power gathering: medicine, information, healing

what energies lurk

Tree in collusion with Stone…

Hawk too, all in karmic contract.

Wheel of sacred meditation space

…Energy-Smith, where Earth and Heaven kiss to create Holy space.

Sticks and Stones, may heal my bones…and words, have power to unhurt me!

Continue reading “Sticks and stones”